The Catholic Parish of
Saint John Henry Newman

 Covering most of East Leeds

Mistaken Identity.

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This is a true story about mistaken identity. We had been married about two years, when one day my late wife Ellen and I went into Leeds to do some shopping. As we walked along the busy streets a rather attractive young lady emerged out of the crowds, flung her arms around my neck and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips. I was surprised to say the least, then looking at me and seeing my reaction she said, "You're not Simon are you? I'm terribly sorry," and she turned and disappeared into the crowds. My wife looked at me in the understanding way that all women have and asked, "Who was that woman?" I tried to explain that I had never seen her before, but unconvinced she said, "Are you telling me that a complete stranger rushed up to you and kissed you full on the lips in the middle of a busy shopping street and you don't know her?" "Yes" I replied rather sheepishly.

A company appointed a new production director who was determined to rid the company of all slackers. He summoned his senior staff to a meeting and told them that anyone found not working would be instantly dismissed. He said that most of the staff spent half the day sending texts and this must stop immediately. A couple of days later he was walking through an office and although everyone seemed to be working, leaning against a wall with his arms folded was a casually dressed young man doing nothing. The boss was enraged and approaching the young man asked, "How much a week do you earn?" Looking surprised the young man replied, "About four hundred quid a week." Pulling out his wallet, the boss gave him a wad of notes and said, "That's a month's pay in lieu of notice and I don't want to see you in here anymore." Looking round, the boss realised that all his staff had stopped work and he was looking at a sea of astonished faces, they were obviously impressed by his hard line. Before leaving the office he asked the staff, "Where did that young man work?" A voice called out from the back of the room "He didn't, you've just sacked the pizza delivery man."

"This is a time to remember all the happy surprises you have had in your life."

Published Sat 3rd Feb 2018 17:08:37
Last Modified on Sat 3rd Feb 2018 17:31:08

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