Tales from Corpus Christi
A good catholic man died and went to heaven and feeling very confident of admission; he approached the gates and was met by St Peter carrying a clip board. St Peter asked the man's name and consulting his list he said, "Yes, you're names down here, but we have a slight problem." You see heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls at the moment, as more and more people are finally listening to the word of God. We are being forced to put new arrivals through a short exam consisting of three questions, before they can enter heaven."

Looking at the man he said, "The first question is; which two days of the week start with the letter "T"? The man said, "That's easy. It's today and tomorrow."

St Peter looked at him and decided he had to accept the answer. "The next question is much harder and you may need to spend some time to consider your answer; "how many seconds are there in a year"? "That's easy as well, there are twelve." St Peter looked amazed and asked "How did you arrive at that answer"? The man said, "Well, there's the second of January, The second of February and so on, making a total of twelve."

St Peter gave him a quizzical look before asking the third and final question, "Can you tell me the name of the swagman in the song "Waltzing Matilda"? Without any hesitation the man replied, "Andy." St Peter looked shocked and asked how he reached this conclusion. The man replied, "Well it says in the song, Andy sat and waited till his billy boiled" St Peter smiled and said, "Okay, I give up, welcome to heaven."

Unfortunately, when it's my turn, St Peter will probably look at me and say, "You are the weakest link so Goodbye"! (Ken)