The Catholic Parish of
Blessed John Henry Newman

 Covering most of East Leeds

The Butler’s Night Off.

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A wealthy couple were planning to spend the evening at a friend’s dinner party and expected to arrive home very late. The mistress of the house called the butler into the drawing room, informed him of their intentions and told him he could take the rest of the night off and enjoy his evening.

The pair set off to the dinner party but on arrival, his wife found the house was full of her husband’s boring business friends. They enjoyed a sumptuous dinner served with excellent wine, but she still found the conversation not intellectually challenging and after several drinks she decided to feign a headache and return home. Her husband was not impressed by this decision and tried to make her change her mind, but she insisted that her headache had now turned into a migraine attack and that she must return home immediately.

When the taxi drove up the driveway, the first thing she noticed was the lights were still on in the lounge and she wondered why the butler had not turned them off upon leaving. The woman entered the house to find the butler, Jeeves, sitting in the lounge and watching the television.

Their eyes met for a moment, and then the woman said, “Follow me Jeeves.” She led him upstairs and into the master bedroom where she closed the door behind them. She looked at him and smiled before saying, “Jeeves, please take off my dress.” The butler obeyed, taking the dress off very slowly. “Now take off my shoes and stockings,” he silently obeyed her. She smiled at him again, before continuing, “Finally, please take off my bra and panties,” as he did so the tension continued to mount in the room.

The woman stood and quietly looked him up and down, before saying, “Jeeves, I shall say this only once, if ever I catch you wearing any of my clothes again I will fire you on the spot, is that understood?”


“You should always be able to smile at yourself, because that way you always have something to keep you amused.”



Published Fri 1st Aug 2014 13:22:25

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