The Catholic Parish of
Blessed John Henry Newman

 Covering most of East Leeds

Life In The Fast Lane.

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Recently, I was summoned by my doctor for my annual check-up and after performing his examination, he gazed at his computer screen for a moment and then said, “I see you are a smoker, would you like to give up smoking?” To which I replied, “No” “Why ever not?” he asked. “I have been smoking a pipe for 30yrs and it is something I enjoy, so I’m not giving it up.” He leaned forward in his chair and said in a serious tone of voice, “You do realise that one of these days smoking is going to kill you?” I replied in
an equally serious tone, “I’m 71yrs old and If smoking doesn’t kill me something else certainly will.” He leaned back in his chair with a smile and replied, “I can’t argue with that logic, can I?”

A man who was aged 50yrs visited his doctor for a routine check-up and told his doctor that he wanted to live until he was 90yrs, “It has always been my ambition to reach the ripe old age of 90yrs and I like to know what you think?” The doctor said, “Well, I’ll tell you what I think after the examination.” He gave the man a thorough examination, checked his heart, lungs, blood pressure and other bits and pieces before declaring, “Well you seem fairly healthy for a man of your age, but I’d like to ask you something about your lifestyle.”

“Do you smoke tobacco, drink beer, wines or spirits at all?” “Oh no,” replied the man, “I don’t like any of those.” “Do you like to go out for a meal, you know, a thick juicy steak with French fries and onions?”
“Oh no,” said the man, “I don’t like meat and became a vegetarian some years ago.” “What about holidays?” asked the doctor, “Do you like to fly off to some exotic destination and lie in the sun?” “Oh no,” said the man “I don’t like flying, hot sun, or beaches and I don’t like foreign food either.” “So you holiday in this country do you?” asked the doctor.” “Oh no,” replied the man, “I can’t sleep if I’m not in my own bed so we don’t take holidays” “What about healthy pursuits, do you spend any time playing
golf, boating, hiking or cycling?” asked the doctor. “Oh no,” replied the man, “I don’t like doing anything too strenuous.”

“What about taking risks in your life, do you like to gamble, drive fast cars or go rock climbing or anything like that?” “Oh no,” said the man, “I don’t like anything risky like fast cars or gambling and I’m terrified of heights so I don’t do any climbing.”The doctor looked intently at the man for a few moments before saying, “This is a difficult diagnosis to make, but based on your medical examination and lifestyle I honestly think you stand a very good chance of making it until you reach 90yrs, but I am left
wondering, why on earth you would want to!”


“When your centred in the flow of your life you will experience contentment.”
“You don’t have power over what happens but you can control your attitude.”



Published Sat 21st Sep 2013 23:24:28

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